worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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