My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
