so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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