i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
