You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Someone came in the potted fern
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
