dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
