I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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