Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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