Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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