Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
