He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
