You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
