Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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