why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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