Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
