I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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