It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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