Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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