hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
