New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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