Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
