How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
