I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
