K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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