No, drunk sperm still make babies.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize
