He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
