i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
