I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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