I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
