I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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