Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
