does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You're a waste of cheezeits
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
