mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
