glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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