Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
