do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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