Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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