I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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