you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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