come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
