She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
