he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
