he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
This house was built for laser tag.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
