Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
