He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
