so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
