I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
