I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
