hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
