Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
