Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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